Tokyo Roz
“In solidarity with the victims of American imperialism, Tokyo Roz wore the black pajamas and conical bamboo hat of a Viet Cong irregular. Round faced and pale, she ran the local franchise of 'The Revolution®' and was addressing passersby with a megaphone. ‘Student strike! Join the student strike! Big rally tomorrow night!’
If Roz had been out there selling insurance, she would have gotten a better response from her fellow students. Passersby veered over to the far side of the sidewalk and refused to make eye contact. As a chubby girl passed by, Roz lowered the megaphone and briefly fell into step beside her. ‘Sister—join the strike,’ she urged. ‘Help us bring down the military-industrial complex.’
Looking embarrassed, the girl mumbled, ‘I’m afraid I can’t’ and hurried on.
‘Yeah, fine,’ grumbled Roz. ‘The revolution doesn’t want your fat ass anyway.’
Without missing a beat, Roz approached a bearded kid with holes in his jeans. Not even waiting for Roz to make her pitch, he made a face and flipped her the bird. ‘Take a hike.’
Pointing the megaphone at his retreating form, she called out, ‘Thanks so much. Maybe you’d like to napalm an orphanage in your spare time, fascist?’
As a girl with kinky blonde hair and a bad complexion approached, Roz decided to try the hard sell. Stepping in the girl’s path, she declared, ‘Aid your fellow human being, Sister. Join the student strike.’
‘Get a life,’ the girl retorted, stepping around her.
Eyes blazing, Roz snarled, ‘Can’t you have some empathy for your fellow man, pizza face?’ ”