Babbling Brooke
“From behind the lectern (now serving as a pulpit), in slow, measured tones, President Fisk’s voice resounded through the shady copse, where the dignitaries stood, and out into the nearby parking lot, where the rest of us basked in the pleasant sun.
‘Violent death has devastated our community,’ the college president exclaimed, unable to keep the shock and exhaustion from his voice. ‘Right here on our campus, the vile hand of murder reached out and cut her down in the prime of life.
‘Never has the oath of office weighed so heavily on me. When I saw her battered, broken body, the blood still on it, I have to tell you, it was almost more than I could bear.
‘How could this have happened on my campus? Have I failed somewhere? Is there any way I can
undo the crime that’s been committed and bring her back to life?’
He paused as the funeral party drew near. Vavolano, VanHisarlik, Baggataway, Volpone, Bishop, and Vanes served as pallbearers—the burial had been timed to occur after lacrosse practice, so that members of the team could be there.
The pep band did a very creditable rendition of 'Amazing Grace (For Trombone and Tuba)'. Someone, a Lit professor probably, had cited the Victorian custom of wearing black crepe at funerals, and the cheerleaders had taken the hint and fashioned suitably somber black pompoms. As the casket passed by, the girls began shaking their pompoms in unison. Unfortunately, at that point the somber mood was disturbed. At the whiiiiisssh of the rustling pompoms, Babbling Brooke instinctively took a giant step forward and went into her split.”